


Second Time Around

by Lunar_Pull



Category: Big Bang (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-18
Updated: 2016-07-18
Packaged: 2018-07-25 07:34:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 19,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7524055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunar_Pull/pseuds/Lunar_Pull
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if you could have a second chance at first love? Sequel to "Nothing Like The First."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The unforgiving barrel of the gun was pressed against Seunghyun’s temple, trembling in Youngbae’s hesitant hands as their gasping breaths were the only sound heard in the overwhelming silence of the warehouse.

 

It was startling - how fitting this moment was, and how different their lives had been not three hours ago.

 

* * *

 

 

Detective Dong Youngbae looked down at the case files spread out before him; papers and gruesome crime scene photographs littered his desk. He poured over the details, trying to find a hidden clue that previous investigators had missed. After reading the same police report for the tenth time, he sighed in frustration.

 

He was too close to this case; it had been closed years ago because of lack of evidence and interest. Hell, it wasn’t even his case.

 

Youngbae had returned to his hometown to serve as one of the lead detectives in the Drug Enforcement Unit of the Police Department after his outstanding record abroad proved how capable he was. He’d already put three rampant drug dealers behind bars in the six months he’d been back home.

 

He would have put away more, except that all his free time was consumed by a cold case he had no business involving himself with: the case of his childhood friend’s unsolved murder.

 

Seungri and his bright smile haunted Youngbae’s dreams. He couldn’t imagine how someone could hurt the brilliant young man and thoughts of the painful blows Jiyong and Seungri received during the attack six years ago brought back long-ago buried memories of Youngbae’s father and his abuse.

 

He was obsessed with the case, but so far, he’d found no new leads, no new evidence. The police report was bare; probably a combination of sloppy police work and the fact that no one in this town gave a damn about finding justice for two young gay boys. It was sickening, but Youngbae was determined to find something, to try to give Seungri the peace he deserved in death and Jiyong the peace he so sorely lacked in life.

 

Jiyong.

 

Youngbae had only seen him once more since they met coincidentally at the diner. Jiyong had been slumped over in a corner of an abandoned building, high and strung out and Youngbae had stumbled upon him during one of his nightly rounds. He had taken him to the hospital but when he went to visit him the next day, Jiyong had already checked out on his own.

 

Youngbae needed to find Seungri’s killers. He _needed_ this. So he took another long gulp of bitter coffee and started from scratch.

 

“Detective,” came the soft voice of his partner. “Anything new?”

 

Detective Lee Chaerin was a slight girl with soft voice, but she was no one to scoff at. Youngbae had seen her take out plenty of criminals and not damage a single one of her manicured nails.

 

“No,” he responded, leaning back in his chair. “There’s just so little evidence. It doesn’t make any sense, though. They were attacked in a highly populated area. Even if it happened in the middle of the night, someone would have looked out the window.”

 

“They probably did,” Chaerin answered. “But you know how it is around here.”

 

Her eyes were earnest. She didn’t know exactly why this case meant so much to Youngbae but the fact that it mattered to him meant it mattered to her. They’d grown close during their short time as partners and Youngbae thought of her as much more than a sweet girl with a killer left hook. He considered her a friend he truly admired. She was the perfect person to be a cop; someone who actually gave a damn.

 

“In the meantime,” she said, handing Youngbae another case file. “It looks like we got a pretty good tip on when the next drop off’s gonna be. It’s supposed to be at one a.m., so the Chief wants to jump on it while we still have time.”

 

“Alright,” Youngbae said, putting away Seungri’s file in his desk drawer. “Let’s get ready.”

 

* * *

 

  
  


There were many drug dealers in this part of town, but there was one who seemed to distribute most of the contraband. The police didn’t know if it was a group, or a single person, but whoever they were, they were smart. They never left any trace of their presence and instead of having a codename to be referred to, they had a catchy little slogan.

 

_If you want the best, you go to the top._

 

Youngbae thought it was ridiculously stupid and cheesy and he couldn’t wait to put handcuffs around whoever was responsible for at least fifty percent of the drugs that infested his hometown.

 

When one o’clock in the morning rolled around, Youngbae and Chaerin were already at the abandoned warehouse by the harbor. The saline smell of the sea filled Youngbae’s nose and the sound of the waves lapping against the wharf made him vaguely nauseous. His heart was pounding erratically, a highly unusual occurrence since his grace under fire was one of the reasons he was such a successful detective. But there was something so odd about this night, something about the ease of this tip and the way the drop off point was so obvious.

 

Why wouldn’t they have searched this suspicious-looking building before?

 

The warehouse loomed impossibly large, its glass windows were mostly shattered, and the way the moonlight reflected off the surface of the dark waters rendered the early morning fog an odd green hue.

 

Youngbae and Chaerin sat in a nondescript car hidden in the shadows, taking turns staring through binoculars, searching for any signs of movement from within the rotten-looking building.

 

A flash of silver caught Youngbae’s attention and although his mind was still plagued with doubt over how obvious and easy this entire exchange had been, he didn’t want to miss a chance to put another rampant drug dealer behind bars. He cocked his pistol and ignored Chaerin’s warnings about how they needed to wait for backup, that the other officers would be here any minute.

 

“I can’t miss this chance,” Youngbae said, stepping out of the car and securing his bulletproof vest onto his body. He looked at his watch. It was 1:23 a.m.

 

* * *

 

 

Minutes later, Youngbae was trapped in a hail of gunfire, silently cursing himself for his lapse of judgement. He wasn’t ever this impatient, knowing very well that letting your emotions get the best of you could very well lead to a situation such as this - being the lone police detective in a warehouse full of armed criminals.

 

“We’ve got to get out of here!” one voice screamed. “If there’s one that means back up is on the way. Just take as much as you can and run.”

 

Youngbae waited until most of the footsteps had died down before sneaking a glance around the corner of the desk he’d hidden himself under. The crooks were nowhere to be seen and the contraband laid scattered about the floor. He sighed. At least he’d helped to ensure that the dealers had much less contraband than expected.

 

A stray of silver caught his eye again, only this time, it was clear that the color was someone’s hair. Youngbae didn’t miss the tall figure leisurely making his way out of the building.

 

This was perfect. If he could just capture one of them, get them to talk…

 

“Freeze!”

 

The figure suddenly stopped in his tracks, turning slowly and deliberately on his heels to face the detective.

 

“Youngbae?” came the smooth baritone of a voice Youngbae hadn’t heard in over six years. His jaw dropped.

 

In front of him stood the person Youngbae most feared and longed to see ever since his return to his hometown. And he was breathtaking.

 

Seunghyun had grown taller since they’d last seen each other, broken-hearted and afraid in a cold airport. He’d trimmed his long, smooth ebony locks into a close-cropped hairstyle that was dyed an unusual shade of white. He’d traded his baggy clothes for a well-fitted white suit and when he looked at Youngbae’s eyes, there was no trace of the sweet and caring boy he had once loved so deeply. Seunghyun’s smirk was wicked.

 

“I had heard you were back in town.”

 

Youngbae's hand tightened around the metal in his hand as an anger rose from the pit of his stomach and settled in his throat. Was that really all Seunghyun had to say?

 

The detective walked closer to Seunghyun, eyebrows furrowed.

 

“Put your hands up,” Youngbae said, voice quiet and menacing as the barrel of his gun pointed directly at Seunghyun’s flawless face.

 

Seunghyun didn’t. He licked his lips and stood straighter.

 

“You look good,” Seunghyun said with another smirk, a little breathlessly. A little too familiar for comfort. The way his eyes unabashedly roamed Youngbae’s body made the detective unable to control his next action. He hit Seunghyun hard across the face with the butt of his gun.

 

“Jesus Christ!” Seunghyun yelped, cupping his face as he crumpled to the floor, sounding much more like the old Seunghyun. “Are you fucking crazy?”

 

“I _will_ shoot you next time,” Youngbae warned, his gun still trained on Seunghyun as he struggled to stand up again.

 

“You’re gonna shoot me because I broke your heart? That’s gotta be against the law.”

 

“Stay down,” Youngbae threatened. This time, Seunghyun listened. He stayed on his knees. “And don’t you dare bring that up again. Ever.”

 

Seunghyun looked up, an unreadable expression on his now bruised face. He opened his mouth as if to speak and then closed his lips again.

 

“I can’t fucking believe you,” Youngbae hissed. He’d felt a lot of rage towards Seunghyun over the years, but this strange combination of disappointment and attraction was something the young detective was completely unprepared for. He was torn. Part of him wanted to destroy Seunghyun with his hands alone and the other part of him wanted to grab his stupidly colored hair and shove his tongue in his mouth.

 

Seunghyun’s dark eyes looked up at Youngbae and the detective couldn’t help but feel like they were seeing right through all the walls he’d built around himself and straight into his lonely, broken heart.

 

“I’m sorry,” Seunghyun breathed out, his voice quiet and earnest.

 

Two words that Youngbae had once longed to hear. He thought of the six hellish years he spent drinking himself into oblivion and jumping from bedmate to bedmate, hoping that one of the tall men that dug their fingertips into his hips and claimed to love him would be enough to erase memories of an older boy with a young heart that had once made everything in Youngbae’s world seem possible. But they were never enough. The pain was never eased and it was only training at the Police Academy that gave him some sense of direction.

 

No. Seunghyun’s half-hearted apology was enough for what he’d suffered. Seunghyun had abandoned him and Youngbae would never forgive him. He pressed the end of his gun to Seunghyun’s temple. “How long have you been a fucking drug dealer, Seunghyun?”

 

Seunghyun gulped, seemingly aware of the storm raging inside of Youngbae and the fact that he had a very loaded gun prepared to blow his brains out. “A long time. About six years.”

 

“Well isn’t that a coincidence.”

 

“You don’t understand,” Seunghyun ventured, the unease in his face suddenly replaced by a fierceness. “When you left, everything went to shit. It was too hard.”

 

“I know it was hard,” Youngbae’s voice was laced with tension. “I was the one on the other side, fucking eighteen years old and scared out of my mind and you didn’t have the decency to answer a goddamn letter?”

 

Seunghyun suddenly stood up - a huge gamble considering the delicate position he was in, but there was an anger rising in him, too. Youngbae could tell. Even after all these years, Seunghyun’s shoulders still tensed the same way. His left eyebrow still refused to frown as deeply as the right and his mouth still became a thin line. He was still intimidating and unreasonably sexy in his fury. Damn.

 

“You have no idea what happened when you left. You have no idea about Seungri and -”

 

Police sirens in the distance interrupted Seunghyun. Panic made its way into his eyes.

 

“I know what happened, okay. I’m working the case right now.”

 

Seunghyun frowned. “Then you know about how its connected to the River Strangler?”

 

“What?” Youngbae had heard about a few unsolved murders in the past few years, connected by the neck wounds on the victims and the way the bodies ended up floating in the local river. He didn’t understand what that possibly had to do with a hate crime committed years before the first victim washed ashore.

 

Seunghyun grinned and suddenly, he was the same smooth criminal from the beginning of their conversation. Feathers unruffled, upper hand clearly established.

 

“Are you gonna arrest me, let your little friends take me to jail? Or are you gonna let me help you solve Seungri’s murder?”

 

Youngbae knew, logically, that letting Seunghyun go would be the biggest mistake of his career. He couldn’t let his quest for justice and his conflicting emotions get in the way of his duty as an officer of the law. What kind of person would he be, if he was so easily swayed?

 

“I know you don’t trust me,” Seunghyun said, his gaze firmly set on Youngbae’s face, attempting to convey something that Youngbae couldn’t quite understand. “But I promise you I am the only person who can help you with this. I won’t break your trust again. Not about this. I want Seungri’s killer as much as you do.”

 

Youngbae bit his lip nervously as the police sirens grew louder. Closer. For just a moment, Seunghyun seemed like the honest, righteous boy he knew him to be.

 

“Please,” Seunghyun begged and because Youngbae had never been able to stand up to him when he begged him like that, all big eyes shimmering and hands twitching nervously, he lowered his gun.

 

“How will I find you?” Youngbae asked, his voice lowered in shame.

 

“I’ll find you,” Seunghyun smiled and turned on his heel quickly, running towards the backdoor.

 

Youngbae watched the silhouette of his former love and he hated his own weakness and how he was disguising it as an attempt to find justice. Seunghyun’s figure stood at the door and his face, aglow with the red and blue lights of the approaching police cars, looked strangely somber.

 

“I never stopped thinking about you, Youngbae,” he called over his shoulder before he disappeared into the night.

 

 _Well_ , Youngbae thought sarcastically, _at least there’s that_.

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Seunghyun watched Youngbae from outside the window of the quaint diner as he sipped on his second cup of coffee, eyebrows drawn and eyes nervously darting around in a way that shouldn't have made Seunghyun's mind short circuit, but did. Youngbae was even more beautiful than he remembered.

 

Seunghyun hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Youngbae since he had laid eyes on him at the warehouse. Truthfully, he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him in six years, but the memories of the shy young boy he had held so dearly in his heart were now replaced by visions of a gorgeous man. His hair was still shaped into a sleek, albeit slightly taller mohawk and his slight frame was still sculpted to perfection, muscular in a way that was evident through his thin black t-shirt.

 

But his face - his face had barely changed. Soft eyes made for losing yourself in, sharp jawline meant to be kissed constantly, and lips so perfect that it almost made Seunghyun believe in God.

 

Six years had passed.

 

Six years of guilt and longing, dreaming of a far off future where Youngbae forgave him for abandoning him when he needed him most. Six years of hoping that one day, his first and only love would know the truth.

 

When Seunghyun saw Youngbae again - when he stared down the barrel of his gun - he knew nothing would ever be alright between them.

 

Seunghyun had his own tales of heartache and woe, of a hurt so deep sometimes he thought he wouldn’t be able to get out of bed again, to try for another day. But he knew he was the bastard in this case. Youngbae had trusted him and loved him and believed him when he said he loved him, too. But all Seunghyun had done for him was be a coward.

 

The reason didn’t matter. What mattered is that he’d hurt the one person he’d promised to protect. Youngbae would never forgive him.

 

Seunghyun would never forgive himself.

 

So he ran a hand through his hair, recently dyed back to brown, and slipped on the persona he’d cultivated for years. It was the only way he could face Youngbae. Pretend to be someone else, someone cold and heartless. Pretend it didn't hurt like hell to even look at him.

 

He stepped into the diner, aware that Youngbae’s eyes were already on him, and he couldn’t help the way his heart beat a steady, quick rhythm against his chest.

 

When he settled himself in the booth, in front of Youngbae, he smiled charmingly.

 

Youngbae only scoffed. “Nice hair.”

 

“I figured I should lay low for a while. Lay off the flashy style. You should have seen me with the blue.”

 

Youngbae rolled his eyes and Seunghyun wanted to jump across the linoleum table and kiss the life out of him.

 

“Are you always this gruff nowadays? We should catch up. You should let me take you out on date.”

 

Youngbae looked scandalized and Seunghyun loved that he still had that effect on him. “Dream on. After I close this case, I’m taking your pompous ass to jail, where you belong.”

 

“We never broke up, you know. Technically, you’re still my boyfriend," Seunghyun drawled. "That’s no way to treat your boyfriend.”

 

Youngbae bit his lip in frustration, clearly struggling to keep himself under control. “Tell me what you know. About Seungri.”

 

Seunghyun huffed a sigh. Youngbae was all business. “Remember when we went on a double date here?”

 

“I’m not here to take a trip down memory lane with you, goddamnit - ”

 

“I know, I know,” Seunghyun interrupted. He often reminisced about that lovely early Spring day. At the time, he had been so uncomfortably cold and his hands had itched to grab Youngbae and pull him close, like Seungri and Jiyong were. He recalled clearly the way Youngbae had been so upset and Seunghyun had been able to cheer him up with nothing but sweet words and a kiss. He wished he could go back to that day. When things were so simple and all that mattered was that he loved Youngbae.

 

He was still in love with him. But it didn’t matter. Not anymore.

 

“There was a guy in the booth over there,” Seunghyun waited for Youngbae to turn around and look at the booth he was referring to. “He kept staring at us. Especially Seungri and Jiyong. At first, I didn’t think anything of it. I mean they were pretty much making out in front of the whole world. But then I realized I’d seen him before even though I didn’t know where. And the way he was staring at them. He wasn’t just uncomfortable. There was hatred in his eyes.”

 

“What does one bigot have to do with what happened? Jiyong said it was a group that attacked them.”

 

“I’m not sure,” Seunghyun said. “But I’ve been trying to find out. I have a bad feeling about that guy.”

 

“So when you said you could help me, what you really meant was that you had a bad feeling about some guy that looked at us six years ago that you _think_ you may have seen before?” Youngbae was reaching into his pocket, pulling out his handcuffs.

 

“If you wanted to tie me up, you could have just asked, Bae.”

 

Youngbae looked up sharply. “Don’t fucking call me that. It’s Detective to you. I’ve waited three weeks for you to show up and this is all I get. You’re gonna have to prove to me that you have some real evidence - ”

 

“They’re all gay.”

 

“Who?”

 

“The River Strangler’s victims.”

 

Youngbae put his handcuffs away and sat down again. “How do you know that?”

 

“They all go to the same gay club. That’s where he picks them up.”

 

“And you know this because…”

 

Seunghyun grinned and leaned in close. “Because I’ve been to that club and I’ve seen those boys.”

 

Seunghyun recalled the quiet irony of sitting up in the balcony of the club, enjoying relative anonymity and the company of beautiful, scantily clad boys he would never lay a finger on.  The next time he saw some of them was in grainy photographs in the obituary section of the newspaper.

 

“Why has no one made that connection yet? It’s a huge clue,” Youngbae frowned.

 

“Because they’re _queers_ , detective.” Seunghyun stated. “Just like Jiyong and Seungri. No one gives a shit about them. They probably think the poor boys had it coming.”

 

“Fuck,” Youngbae breathed, and Seunghyun was seriously having trouble keeping himself in check because the way curse words rolled so easily off Youngbae’s tongue was driving him insane.

 

“Well, listen, I have to go.” Seunghyun stood up.

 

“What? That’s it?”

 

“Unless you want to come back to my apartment and let me fuck your brains out, I have other business to attend to.”

 

“Fuck you,” Youngbae hissed.

 

“If you want, baby. I’ve always been versatile," Seunghyun smirked.

 

“Don’t think I won’t throw you in jail just for being a prick.”

 

Seunghyun felt himself twitch in his trousers. The appeal of the teenage Youngbae had been his innocence and his shyness. The man he had become, though, was fierce and bold. Like Seunghyun always knew he would be.

 

“I’ll come back when I have news," Seunghyun said, grin draining from his face. "And I will. Trust me, I’m getting close. Let me do my thing and then you and the law can take over.”

 

Youngbae scowled, but he stayed in his seat. He made a motion to the waitress. More coffee.

 

Seunghyun looked at Youngbae, hoping the younger man could see through him, see into his mind, know that he hated himself for hurting him. He pulled out an envelope from his jacket pocket. Threw it unceremoniously on the table.

 

“What’s this?” Youngbae’s fingers grazed the papers.

 

“I got your letters,” Seunghyun said, hating himself for the flash of sadness that settled on Youngbae’s features.

 

“Is this them?” Youngbae coughed in discomfort.

 

“No. Those are my responses. I never sent them, but I wrote them.”

 

The look that crossed Youngbae’s face was heartbreaking. It made Seunghyun want to disappear. So he did. He strode out of the diner quickly, without so much as a goodbye. Before he could break down and confess everything to Youngbae, beg for a forgiveness he didn't deserve.

 

Before the mask he'd so meticulously created over years of solitude cracked under Youngbae's unyielding gaze.

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

Eleven o’clock at night meant another text message from Justin.

 

 _I miss you_ , it read and Youngbae wanted to hate him for sending him a message when they’d so clearly broken things off but the message was so simple, so truthful, so sweet. Just like Justin.

 

He’d been the only person who’d ever come close to winning Youngbae’s heart after Seunghyun. The only one who had tamed him, even if it only lasted a few months. Tall, broad-shouldered and beautifully dark-skinned, like milk and coffee, Justin had a full mouth that was quick to smile and talented fingers. He played Youngbae’s body with the same concentration and passion he played the electric guitar, making the smaller man cry out melodically and bury himself deeper in his strong, tattooed arms.

 

Justin adored Youngbae. He confessed his love to him after only a few hours of knowing each other, smiling widely when Youngbae asked him how he could possibly know he loved him when he didn’t even know his last name.

 

“It doesn’t matter. You’ll be Mr. Lyons in no time,” he had said and Youngbae had both loved and hated that his easy confidence reminded him of Seunghyun.

 

Youngbae wanted to love him, he wanted it so much, but there was a shadow in his heart whenever he even considered moving in with the guitarist.

 

He sighed again as he turned over in his bed, still just a mattress on the floor among a sea of unpacked boxes. The letters Seunghyun had left him in the diner were still in the envelope, on the kitchen counter. He couldn’t bear to read them.

 

Youngbae looked at his phone again, wishing that Justin’s crazy love was enough to calm him, and maybe some day it would be. But he couldn’t ask him to wait and right now, Youngbae wanted nothing more than to lose himself in panting breaths and the heat of someone filling him up, replacing the emptiness within him with the push and pull of a hardened cock.

 

Goddamn, he just wanted to fuck.

 

It felt like he was on autopilot, taking a quick shower and tugging on clothes that he knew made him look irresistible and utterly fuckable. He was off-duty tonight and this might very well be the last time in a long time he’d get to go out.

 

It didn’t take long to find his way to the gay club Seunghyun spoke about, or to earn himself free drinks with his winning smile and the sway of his hips. He drank and drank and drank until the flashing lights all blurred together and he couldn’t even tell whose hands were attached to his hips, whose crotch he was pushing his ass against but _fuck_ it felt so good.

 

It felt so good not to think about Seunghyun or Justin or the messy life he was trying to keep from falling apart.

 

No images of Seungri’s bloodied corpse filled his mind and he almost thought that the face the drifted into his sight, the one that looked an awful lot like Jiyong, was just a drunken hallucination.

 

But then, Jiyong's fractured smile brought him back to reality.

 

“You’re fucking plastered, aren’t you?” Jiyong said, his tone amused.

 

“Jiyong?” Youngbae tried to focus his eyes. “Where have you been?”

 

Jiyong leaned in close. “The guy behind you is butt-ugly. Come with me.”

 

He grabbed Youngbae’s hand and dragged him away, until Youngbae couldn’t hear the man’s voice protesting and the cold, night air brought him to his senses a bit.

 

“Shit,” he cursed.

 

Jiyong smiled, sounding a bit like his old self. “You look like jailbait, dude. Do you know how many guys I had to keep away from you?”

 

Youngbae frowned, stumbling over his steps a bit. “What if I didn’t want them to stay away from me?”

 

Jiyong didn’t answer. He was already leaving, walking backwards into the dark night, away from the club.

 

“Just don’t walk home alone, Youngbae,” was the last thing he said before his thin frame fully disappeared into the alleyway.

 

Youngbae closed his eyes and leaned against the brick wall. Stubborn bastard that he was, though, he made his way back into the throng of sweaty bodies, determined to have his way.

 

He lost himself in the rhythm and the music and he surprised himself by not falling down drunk, even though it was a struggle to keep upright. Right when he felt his knees were about to buckle, Youngbae felt strong hands snake around his waist and hold him up. He pressed closer to the body, his right hand reaching up and running his fingers through thick hair as he sighed in pleasure. Breath tickled his ear and one of the hands made their way under his thin tank top, fingers softly tracing the grooves between his muscles. Youngbae _knew_ those fingers, he _knew_ those hands.

 

It was Seunghyun’s tall body pressed against him, it was his breath puffing against his neck. Youngbae wanted to give in so badly, but just as the thought of surrender flickered across his mind, he pulled away.

 

He walked home, alone, stumbling through the darkness, not oblivious to the danger he was in. He just didn’t care. His life was already a mess and he couldn’t afford to make it worse by giving in to his heart.

 

He managed to get back to his apartment building safely and it was only when he made it up the stairs that he realized that the distinct sound of footsteps followed him. His blood ran cold and a sudden adrenaline filled his senses, making him alert and careful. He was surprised that the footsteps stopped at the top of the stairs and that whoever was following him wasn’t planning on attacking him in front of his doorstep. He fumbled with his keys before walking through his doorway, shutting the door behind him.

 

But then, a realization struck him. He opened the front door again to find Choi fucking Seunghyun standing in hallway. He wore a sleek tailored suit and a knowing smirk on his face.

 

Youngbae hated him. But more than that, he wanted him.

 

“Why are you following me?”

 

Seunghyun grinned and shoved his hands into his pockets. “What were _you_ doing in the only gay club within a ten mile radius?”

 

Seunghyun probably expected him to say that he was working on a case, doing his job, searching for the River Strangler. Instead, Youngbae crossed his arms and leveled his drunken gaze at Seunghyun.

 

“Looking for a good lay,” he said, eyes dragging up and down Seunghyun’s body.

 

“Well I’m sorry you had to go home alone,” Seunghyun purred, lowering his voice in a way that still made Youngbae shiver.

 

Youngbae bit his lip and looked up at Seunghyun through half-lidded eyes. “I’m not alone.”

 

And before he knew it, he was pulling Seunghyun into his apartment by his crimson silk tie and crashing their lips together. Seunghyun groaned in surprise but his hands quickly found Youngbae’s waist to steady himself.

 

It was simultaneously like no time had passed and like they didn’t even know each other. Seunghyun’s hands were careful and tender, like Youngbae remembered, but there was a desperation underlying his movements, tinging the air with an intensity that left Youngbae breathless. Or maybe it was the way Seunghyun had already gotten rid of his suit jacket and Youngbae’s shirt. The way his eyes raked over his bare chest, licking his lips, like some sort of predator.

 

Seunghyun’s eyes darkened and he lifted Youngbae off his feet, pushing him roughly against the wall, ignoring the loud thud and the hiss of pain that Youngbae let out when his back hit the wall. The old Seunghyun would have stopped everything, asked him if he was okay. This Seunghyun just growled and sucked bruises onto Youngbae’s collar bone as the detective tugged on his button-down shirt, wishing he had the hand-eye coordination to help him get rid of it. But as it was, his movements were tempered by all the alcohol he’d consumed and all he could do was hope Seunghyun got the message.

 

He did. He set Youngbae back down and undid the rest of the buttons, never breaking eye contact with Youngbae. The shorter man gasped when he saw the slight muscles that now graced his old friend and lover’s torso. Seunghyun grinned at his reaction and started to work in his belt.

 

He pushed Youngbae against the wall again, this time, turning him around, and positioning him in a perverse parody of their professions. Youngbae’s hands were braced against the wall, like he was being arrested for being such a bad, bad boy, and Seunghyun stood behind him, impossibly close, impossibly warm.

 

“Fuck,” Seunghyun breathed, wonder evident in his voice. “You have tattoos now? Jesus Christ, you’re so fucking hot.”

 

Youngbae turned around, eyes staring into the smoky gaze of Seunghyun as he undid his own pants in quick motions. He bit his lip, like he knew Seunghyun loved and savored the way the taller man’s eyes stared at his mouth as he panted.

 

“Stop talking so much and fuck me,” Youngbae commanded and Seunghyun dropped his pants, prepared to do exactly what the shorter man wanted.

 

“Jump up,” Seunghyun said and Youngbae hopped into his arms, wrapping his legs around his waist and his arms around his broad shoulders. They used the wall again for leverage and Youngbae was too drunk to ask for preparation - he wanted it to hurt - but when he felt the bare tip of Seunghyun’s cock against his entrance, he came crashing back to reality.

 

“ _Wait_ ,” he gasped.

 

“What?” Seunghyun groaned, probably frustrated as hell that he had gotten so close.

 

“There’s no way you’re fucking me without a condom.”

 

“We don’t need one, Bae,” Seunghyun breathed, already positioning himself against Youngbae’s entrance again.

 

“Yes, yes, we do, don’t you dare - fuck, don’t,” Youngbae stammered, caught between the desire pooling in his stomach, the alcohol swimming in his brain and the need to be logical about this very illogical encounter.

 

“We don’t need one,” Seunghyun said, voice suddenly soft as he set Youngbae down. “I haven’t been with anyone since you.”

 

Youngbae’s eyes widened. “It’s been six _years_.”

 

“I know,” Seunghyun said, unable to meet Youngbae’s eyes. “I just couldn’t. Not after you.”

 

Youngbae smiled a bit, touched by Seunghyun’s loyalty, at least in that aspect of their relationship. But then he thought of all the strangers he’d let fuck him in dark alleys and unfamiliar bedrooms and he felt suddenly ashamed of the immature way he’d tried to get over Seunghyun.

 

Youngbae looked up at Seunghyun’s face. “We do need one.”

 

He watched the understanding come over Seunghyun’s features, the change from sincere and almost shy to blank and unreadable was like a winter wind.

 

“I don’t have one,” he said, wrapping his hands around Youngbae’s dick, making him cry out. “So you’re just gonna have to settle for this.”

 

Seunghyun stroked Youngbae with quick, efficient movements as he kissed every part of his face, almost tenderly. When he reached his lips, he asked, “does it feel good?”

 

Youngbae couldn’t open his eyes, couldn’t do anything but suck in sharp breaths and cling to Seunghyun’s shoulders, nodding against his chest.

 

He came suddenly, bucking his hips into Seunghyun’s hands and letting out a keen whimper that would have embarrassed him if he hadn’t been so drunk.

 

Seunghyun disappeared into the bathroom and Youngbae heard the sound of water running. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself, but the realization of what had just happened now washed over him, a wave upon the shore.

 

It felt so right, being in Seunghyun’s arms again.

 

It felt so _wrong_.

 

He felt like he’d betrayed himself.

 

He looked at his hands, trembling and weak. He was such a fucking slut that he couldn’t even have enough respect for himself to not fuck the man who had ruined his life.

 

Fuck.

 

When Seunghyun emerged from the bathroom, he looked at Youngbae with a slight smile.

 

“You should go,” was all Youngbae said in response. He watched the smile drain from Seunghyun’s face.

 

He didn’t respond. Just picked up his clothes and slammed the door shut.

 

Youngbae collapsed onto the floor as soon as he heard the sound.

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

It was awkward.

 

It was cringeworthy and nerve-wrackingly awkward to sit next to Youngbae in his police car and pretend like nothing had happened.

 

And it was so clearly what Youngbae wanted. As soon as Seunghyun had flagged him down and stepped into the vehicle, the detective had done nothing but talk about the River Strangler and all the new information he’d found thanks to Seunghyun’s tip. He talked so fast that Seunghyun could barely get a word in, so he settled for staring at his hands and humming his agreement until Youngbae ran out of breath and an incredibly awkward silence filled the car.

 

It had never been this way between them. Their silence used to be comfortable and intimate.  Seunghyun remembered how they used to spend hours not speaking, just lounging in bed while Seunghyun read one of his graphic novels and Youngbae listened to the iPod the older boy had saved up for months to buy for him. He recalled that a few weeks after they first started having sex, Youngbae had asked him what his favorite part was.

 

“This,” Seunghyun had said, his hand stroking though Youngbae’s tuft of hair as he laid his small face on the older boy’s chest. “Just this part.”

 

Youngbae had pressed a small kiss to Seunghyun’s chest and then looked up, a teasing smirk set on his lips. “Is it because it tires you out, old man?”

 

Seunghyun had laughed, pulling the smaller body even closer to him. “No. I don’t know. It’s just nice. To be with you like this.”

 

He had wanted to say that there was something magical about the way Youngbae’s cheeks were a faint rosy color and their bodies stuck together with the sweat they’d worked up. He had wanted to say that there was nothing like watching as Youngbae played with Seunghyun's fingers, lightly tracing the veins and bones that hid under his skin, as if trying to figure out how the older boy was put together. He had wanted to say that he loved that they didn’t need words, that just listening to each other’s steady breathing and losing themselves in each other’s eyes was more than Seunghyun had ever dreamed, more than he thought he deserved.

 

But he hadn’t said it. Because he was twenty years old and stupid. Because he didn't want to seem weak.

 

Thinking back on what their relationship had been like was an unending torture for Seunghyun, because happy and sweet memories were always tinged with regret. There was so much Seunghyun should have said. So much he should have done.

 

Now, Youngbae was lost to him, forever. And even now, sitting right next to the boy who still held his heart, Seunghyun felt like there was an eternity separating them. It was so much easier when Youngbae was an ocean away.

 

“Listen,” Seunghyun broke the silence, surprising even himself. “About the other night - ”

 

“Don’t,”  Youngbae snapped, his fingers tightening around the steering wheel.

 

“No,” Seunghyun insisted. “You were drunk. I mean, you were ridiculously drunk and I took advantage of that. It wasn’t fair.”

 

Youngbae’s hard gaze softened. He stared into Seunghyun’s eyes, as if searching for signs of dishonesty. He gave up and turned his face, staring out into the night again.

 

“I don’t want to talk about it. Don’t you worry about people seeing you with me? Riding around in cop car can’t exactly be good for business.”

 

Seunghyun smiled ruefully at Youngbae’s diversion tactics, but decided to humor him. He’d do anything to ease the tension between them. “You’d be surprised how little attention people actually pay. Besides, I’m always careful. Most of the people that work for me have never seen my face.”

 

“How in the world did you manage that?”

 

“Trade secret.”

 

Youngbae barked out a humorless laugh in response. Seunghyun sighed. He steeled himself for a confrontation, or at the very least, another incredibly tense conversation. He wanted to do right by Youngbae, at least this time around. He wanted to be as truthful with him as he could.

 

Even if it didn’t make a difference, Seunghyun thought Youngbae deserved more from him.

 

“I really am sorry.”

 

Youngbae threw Seunghyun a scathing glance. “I said I didn’t want to talk about it.”

 

“I don’t just mean last night. I mean for what I did when you were away.”

 

There was that awful silence again. _God,_ it was killing Seunghyun.

 

“I started selling drugs when you first left. I’d done a bit before we were dating, too. There’s no good reason why. It was easy money and I was good at it. Really fucking good, actually. So good that I ticked a lot of people off. The wrong people.”

 

Youngbae’s eyes narrowed. “What are you saying?”

 

Seunghyun took a deep breath, knowing that so much hinged on his next words. For a second, he considered telling Youngbae everything - the complete truth - just to be done with the pressure of the younger man’s anger. But then, he thought about how even the truth wasn’t enough. Why Seunghyun stopped talking to Youngbae didn’t change the fact that it had made the caring, sweet boy he used to idolize into a jaded, broken-hearted man and it certainly didn’t get them any closer to finding Seungri’s murderer. So Seunghyun changed the subject.

 

Youngbae wanted Seungri’s killer and Seunghyun was going to give him that.

 

Seunghyun slipped his persona of calculating criminal back on, finding the character he’d created a comfort. Especially now, when his heart filled with such a heavy shame. It was always better to pretend. “Have you seen all the pictures of the River Strangler’s victims?”

 

“Yeah, Seunghyun, I have.” His voice came out softer, disappointment and exhaustion lacing his words.

 

“So you’ve noticed it.”

 

Youngbae sighed. “It’s just a coincidence.”

 

“You’re not still that naive, are you, Bae?”

 

“It’s Detective,” Youngbae warned and Seunghyun bit back a snippy remark about how he hadn’t minded being called by his old nickname when he was up against the wall and demanding to be fucked.

 

“Well, Detective Dong, I’m sure your keen eye has noticed that these victims have a lot more in common than just being young and gay.”

 

“It doesn’t mean anything.”

 

“Really? You don’t think it means anything that all of the River Strangler’s victims look almost exactly like Seungri?”

 

Youngbae leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes. “So the guy has a type. That doesn’t get us any closer to figuring out who killed him.”

 

“I’m still working on it, alright,"Seunghyun sighed. "But maybe in the meantime, you should look into people Seungri knew.”

 

Youngbae reached over Seunghyun’s body to open the passenger side door, making the taller man flinch at the quickness of his movements. “Fine, I’ll see what I can do. Get out of my car, Seunghyun.”

 

“God, you’re insufferable now,” Seunghyun muttered as he stepped out of the vehicle. What he really meant was that he adored him still and he wished he could make everything better. But, of course, Youngbae couldn’t understand what Seunghyun didn’t say.

 

Just before he took off into the night, another thought crossed Seunghyun’s mind and he leaned into the opened passenger window curiously. “Have you been to see your father yet?”

 

Youngbae didn’t answer. He narrowed his eyes and pressed his foot hard on the gas pedal, speeding off into the darkness with an awful screeching of tires.

 

“That could not have gone any worse,” Seunghyun said aloud, to no one.

 

* * *

 

 

Youngbae’s fists pummeled the bright red punching bag, quickly and steadily, as if the piece of exercise equipment held all the answers to the mystery of Seungri’s killer and the River Strangler.

 

In just a short amount of time, Seunghyun and the information he provided had disproved every theory Youngbae had come up with, and damn if it didn’t tick him off. Seunghyun and his genius IQ and impossibly sharp cheekbones were fucking up Youngbae’s life again.

 

Six years and he still couldn’t resist him.

 

It was utterly pathetic and it made the usually calm detective feel incredibly helpless, so he made his way to the gym at the police headquarters and took out all his frustration on an inanimate object that seem to mock him as much as Seunghyun’s grin.

 

Truthfully, Youngbae was frustrated at more than just his situation with Seunghyun. When he stared at the pictures of the River Strangler’s victims, he noticed their physical similarity to Seungri immediately. Before they were bloated with water from the river, the boys had been all bright smiles and mischievous eyes and a new possibility struck Youngbae suddenly, like a sharp slap across the face.

 

He considered the fact that maybe Seungri’s killer and the River Strangler really were two different people. Maybe the River Strangler wasn’t a coldhearted repeat offender, maybe he was a former victim, transformed into a monster by unbearable grief.

 

Maybe it was Jiyong.

 

Even now, after much careful consideration, the though still made Youngbae shiver. He understood how heartbreak can change a person, but could it really turn you into a murderer?  
  


Youngbae sighed and wiped the sweat off his forehead.

 

No, he reasoned with himself, I know Jiyong.

 

The boy he knew would never hurt someone.

 

Youngbae started to pound the punching bag again, a new determination in his eyes. He had to find the killer now, if only to prove that his childhood friend was innocent.

 

He tried not to focus the fact that six years had changed everyone he ever knew, most of all, himself.


	5. Chapter 5

“He was a good kid.”

 

Youngbae sat in front of Seungri’s father, in the lavish living room of the mansion where Seungri and his family used to live. There was a faint layer of dust over unpolished gold decorations and the couch creaked when the detective sat down, as if unused for some time. He’d taken Seunghyun’s advice from three weeks ago and contacted people that Seungri knew when he was alive - starting with his family - in order to find more information but the sorry state that Seungri’s father and his house was in left a bitter taste in Youngbae’s mouth.

 

Years later and the poor man was still grieving.

 

“Did you know he knew three different languages? He was always studying something or other. We never got his IQ tested, but I think he was a genius. And so sweet, too. Always helping his mother around the house, always responsible about his chores…”

 

Seungri’s father trailed off, his eyes downcast as he sucked in a sharp breath. “He was a good kid,” he repeated, softly.

 

Youngbae wanted to ask where Seungri’s mother was but the state of the house said it all. She was gone. Maybe dead. Probably divorce. Either way, it didn’t matter. The broken man in front of him held valuable information for the detective and his task was to find a way to politely ask him if there’s anyone he knew who would have wanted to kill his son.

 

“Did he have a lot of friends?” Youngbae began, hoping the conversation would lead to where he needed it to.

 

Seungri’s nodded. “Yes, many. He was a very popular young man.”

 

“Did you know about him and Jiyong?”

 

A tender smile made its way onto the older man’s face. “Of course I did. Seungri never kept a secret from us. They were a lovely pair. They loved each other very much and Jiyong was a joy to have around the house. I wonder sometimes what became of him.”

 

Youngbae didn’t tell Seungri’s father that the man who had once loved his son more than life itself was now a prime suspect in a serial murder case where the victims all resembled his much-loved, long dead son, mostly because he didn’t think the poor man deserved any more grief, but also because he still didn’t want to believe it himself.

 

“Do you know anyone who might have wanted to hurt your son?”

 

“Detective, you are asking the same questions the police asked me years ago and I wish I had different answers for you, but I don’t. My son was an amazing young man with no enemies and a bright future ahead of him and now he’s gone and...and - ”

 

Seungri’s father looked into Youngbae’s eyes, his struggle and pain laid out before the detective. He sighed, “Nothing can replace him.”

 

“I’m sorry, sir,” Youngbae said. “I just want justice for your son.”

 

“Justice? There is no justice, Detective. Not in this case. You’ll drive yourself crazy trying to find it.”

 

Seungri’s father stood. “You’ll let yourself out, won’t you, Detective?”

 

“Of course, sir. Thank you for your time.”

 

Seungri’s father walked away, his gait slow and unhurried. He had all the time in the world to continue mourning his son. Youngbae watched him go, wondering what his own father had felt when he’d abandoned him. Had he mourned his loss as well? Had he regretted the actions that had driven Youngbae away? Or had he drunk himself into a painfully slow and lonely death, oblivious and unconcerned?

 

Had he ever loved Youngbae? Like Seungri’s father obviously still loved him?

 

“How did it go?” Chaerin asked when Youngbae made his way back to the car.

 

He didn’t respond. Just let out a long sigh. Chaerin’s small hand hooked on his shoulder comfortingly. “You’ll find who did it, Youngbae. I know you will.”

 

“How do you know?” Youngbae sighed again.

 

At this, Chaerin grinned. “I haven’t seen you let one of the bad guys get away yet.”

 

Youngbae groaned inwardly. He had. He _knew_ he had. His name was Choi Seunghyun.

 

* * *

 

 

Youngbae sat in his apartment, fighting with himself about the bottle of vodka he knew he had stashed under the sink.

 

 _For emergencies_ , he had told himself when he picked it up on a whim.

 

The thing that no one mentions about having an abusive and alcoholic father is that it makes a single drink turn into ten and then fifteen and then you’re slumped over in an alley in a foreign city, trying to understand what the nice police officer is saying to you.

 

Or maybe it wasn’t his father’s fault. Maybe it was that black hole in Youngbae's chest. The one where his heart used to be.

 

Either way, Youngbae had struggled for the last two years to keep himself sober and though the stress of his new life was almost unbearable, he had kept himself together so far. He could keep himself together still.

 

Youngbae gathered the courage to walk into his kitchen, reach under the sink and grab the glass bottle. He poured the contents down the drain.

 

“One tough son of a bitch,” he muttered to himself, almost fondly. He’d never forgotten Seunghun’s favorite compliment.

 

A soft, steady knocking on his front door caught his attention and he made his way to his door, grabbing his firearm on the way. One could never be too careful.

 

He opened his door to find a startled Seunghyun, inches away from banging his head against the door again.

 

“What are you doing here?” Youngbae asked.

 

Seunghyun blinked a couple of times and straightened his back, running his hands through his hair. Youngbae knew right away that the older man was drunk. “I didn’t think you’d be home.”

 

Youngbae stepped aside and made a motion for Seunghyun to enter. He set his gun on the kitchen counter before going back to the living room.

 

“Why don’t you have any furniture?” Seunghyun asked as he loosened his tie. As if he had any right to be in Youngbae's space.

 

Youngbae rolled his eyes. “Why are you at my apartment if you didn’t think I’d be home?”

 

“I don’t know. I’m just...I missed you.”

 

“Please tell me you have some new information,” Youngbae said. He had no room in his mind to deal with Seunghyun being drunk and needy.

 

Seunghyun walked around Youngbae’s bare living room, one foot carefully in front of the other. “I wish you weren’t so cold to me,” he murmured, his thin fingers reaching out to touch the white walls.

 

“I don’t owe you anything, Seunghyun. And I really don’t have time for this. You have to go.”

 

Seunghyun turned sharply to look into Youngbae’s face, his gaze so raw and focused that it made the detective’s breath catch in his throat. “Please don’t kick me out again,” he pleaded.

 

“I don’t know what you want from me,” Youngbae had meant the words to come out harsh, but instead, the sound that left his lips was a trembling confession. He closed his eyes and wished it could all be different.

 

He felt Seunghyun step closer to him, the heat from his body so warm and inviting that it made Youngbae want to forget his anger, forget his fear and just surrender to Seunghyun. Give up the ghost, just this once…

 

But he couldn’t. He couldn’t let himself, even though he longed for it. And there was a very simple reason for it.

 

“You broke me,” Youngbae whispered. He felt the tight grip on his heart ease, just a bit. There - he’d said it out loud. And it hadn’t killed him.

 

Seunghyun’s hands made their way to Youngbae’s waist and the detective had no energy to pull away. He didn’t return the touch, but he didn’t push Seunghyun away.

 

“I’d rather have you broken than dead.”

 

Youngbae’s eyes flew open and the look on Seunghyun’s face -eyebrows drawn together in pain and lips quivering - spoke volumes.

 

“What do you mean?” he asked. “Stop talking in circles and just tell me what you mean.”

 

“The people that I pissed off. They were going to kill you.”

 

Suddenly, Youngbae felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room and the world was spinning in the wrong direction. He closed his eyes tighter. Maybe if he couldn’t see Seunghyun then this wouldn’t be real. It would just be another fucked up fantasy where Seunghyun rode into Youngbae's life on a white horse with the perfect excuse and swept him off his feet again.

 

“They found out about us. They said that if I didn’t start working for them and made them back the money they’d lost because of me, you’d end up just like Seungri. I had to protect you, Bae. I couldn’t let anyone hurt you. I promised you that.”

 

It all clicked into place. Youngbae recalled that the last time he’d spoken with Seunghyun over Skype, the older boy had been nervously looking over his shoulder and the conversation had been much shorter than usual. He’d kept repeating that he’d always love him, no matter what, and at the time, Youngbae had just thought that Seunghyun was having a tough time dealing with the distance. Now, he knew. It was his way of saying goodbye.

 

Seunghyun hadn’t changed. He was still the misguided, overprotective boy he’d fallen in love with, all those years ago. He was still an idiot.

 

Youngbae tilted his face up, eyes still closed, begging without words for Seunghyun to just kiss him. But Seunghyun didn’t. He tightened his grip on the smaller man’s waist and sighed. “I don’t regret it, though. You always deserved so much more than I could give you. I’m always going to be a bad guy.”

 

And just like that, Seunghyun’s warmth was gone, replaced by the cool breeze blowing from the window. When Youngbae opened his eyes, the taller man was on the other side of the room, back against the wall, eyes staring at the floor.

 

Youngbae didn’t even know what to say. He had no idea where this confession left them.

 

A hard knock brought them both out of their confusion.

 

“Stay here,” Youngbae said before walking towards the front door, firearm in hand.

 

The front door opened and in the doorway stood a haggard Jiyong, eyes glazed over and arms held behind his back.

 

When he smirked, the smile was so crooked that it almost frightened Youngbae. He gulped involuntarily.

 

“Jiyong? How did you know where I live?”

 

“I know a lot of things.”

 

“Are you okay?”

 

Jiyong’s leg shook nervously and the way his eyes kept darting around made him look deranged. “Aren’t you going to invite me inside?”

 

“Jiyong…”

 

“You remind me of him, y’know. He would have been a good man, like you. A teacher or a cop. Not a fuck-up, like me.”

 

Youngbae bit his lip. He was still unsure about inviting Jiyong inside his home but the thin man looked so hopeless. “Are you high?”

 

“I’m always high,” Jiyong responded, voice ragged. “I _have_ to get high, don’t you understand? I can’t even remember what he looked like most of the time. Can you fucking believe that? He saved my miserable life and I can’t remember his face.”

 

Jiyong collapsed into Youngbae’s arms then, his grief overwhelming them both.

 

“Unless I’m high,” Jiyong wheezed. “When I’m high, it’s like he’s right in front of me.”

 

Jiyong’s nicotine-stained fingers grazed Youngbae’s face tenderly. “Right in front of me…” he repeated, face leaning close to the detective’s. His eyes suddenly rolled back in his head and his body started convulsing, the spasmodic motions causing Youngbae to accidently drop Jiyong’s thin body.

 

Youngbae cursed. Jiyong was overdosing in his front entrance and there was a drug-dealing criminal in his living room. The whole thing was like some sort of sick joke.

 

“Do you need me to help?” came Seunghyun’s deep voice.

 

Youngbae turned around to look at the taller man. He was obviously still drunk. “There’s cameras in the hospital. Just go home. I’ll take him.”

 

“I want to help you - ”

 

“You’ve done enough,” Youngbae snapped, his patience wearing thin. “Really, you’ve helped a lot,” he continued, voice quieter. “But you can’t help with this. I don’t know that anyone can.”

 

Youngbae hoisted the now motionless body of Jiyong into his arms. He believed now more than ever that the delicate man couldn’t be a killer. He was nothing but a shattered man, trying to keep his love alive the only way he knew how.

 

Youngbae could relate.

  
  
  
  



	6. Chapter 6

 

The waiting room in the hospital was curiously empty, save the occasional wandering visitor and one sobbing old man in the far corner.

 

Youngbae hated hospitals. He hated the death that lurked around every corner and the sadness that permeated every hallway of the building. The clock on the wall struck three o’ clock in the morning and Youngbae’s eyelids drooped. He’d been there for hours.

 

His thoughts had been filled with Seunghyun and his confession. It had changed everything and at the same time, it had changed nothing. Youngbae had still suffered, he’d still gone down a dangerous path and he still didn’t know if he could love again.

 

Why did it all have to be so damn complicated? Youngbae buried his face in his hands.

  
  


“You can see him now,” Youngbae looked up and was startled to see a familiar face.

 

“Daesung?”

 

The smile that spread over the man’s face was breathtaking and comforting. “Youngbae? I didn’t know you were back in town.”

 

He embraced the shorter man tightly, a gentle sweetness in his every move and Youngbae found himself remembering that Daesung was the only person who had ever hugged him besides Seunghyun. When they pulled apart, Youngbae couldn’t help but notice that the harsh lights of the hallway lit up Daesung’s already bright face. He looked like an angel.

 

Judging by his uniform, he was.

 

“You’re a nurse now?” Youngbae asked, hand still clasping Daesung’s shoulder.

 

“And you’re a cop. That makes so much sense,” the smile never left Daesung’s face, even as he talked. Youngbae felt a calm wash over him.

 

“Come with me,” Daesung said. “He’s awake and asking for you.”

 

Jiyong looked so small, surrounded by machines and IV drips, tucked in the white sheets of the hospital bed. His eyes were closed.

 

“He was awake a minute ago,” Daesung said. “Must have drifted off to sleep again. You should just come see him tomorrow when he’s got some of his strength back.”

 

“Last time I did that, he left.”

 

Daesung smiled. “I won’t let him. I can watch over him.”

 

“That would be really great,” Youngbae said, hoping his tone conveyed how grateful he was to Daesung.

 

“I volunteer at a drug rehabilitation clinic just a few miles out of town. I think he’d really benefit from those services.”

 

Youngbae shrugged. “I don’t know if he’ll go for that...”

 

“I don’t know, I think he might. There’s only so much darkness you can take before you start looking for the light again.” There was something in Daesung’s voice. Like he knew firsthand the kind of pain that Jiyong was trapped in. Like he really believed he could help.

 

Youngbae found himself smiling. He found himself hoping.

 

Maybe if Jiyong could recover from his heartache, Youngbae still stood a chance.

 

“Maybe,” Youngbae said.

 

Daesung smiled and Youngbae started to believe.

 

* * *

 

  
  


“I can’t believe there’s so many fucking trees here,” Jiyong sighed.

 

He sat with Youngbae in the courtyard of the rehabilitation clinic, surrounded by splashes of colorful flowers and a beautiful, green landscape. He smiled at Youngbae, cigarette in hand.

 

“It’s amazing what you can find outside the city,” Youngbae agreed.

 

It had been five months since Jiyong had entered the facility, five months since he’d taken a hit. Five months sober.

 

Youngbae’s pride in Jiyong was only dampened by the fact that he hadn’t seen Seunghyun in five months. He tried to look on the bright side, though, and not worry about his old lover. He was trying to get back to the positive young boy he used to be.

 

Daesung spotted them from across the courtyard and waved, smiling shyly as he continued to help the patient in the wheelchair towards the main building.

 

Youngbae raised his eyebrow. “What’s going on between you two?”

 

Jiyong’s smile widened and he ducked his head sheepishly. Put out his cigarette on the bench. “I don’t know. He’s so...He’s really great. I think he likes me.”

 

Youngbae couldn’t help but smile, too. It had been so long since he’d seen Jiyong smile like that.

 

“We’re not supposed to do anything, though, until I’ve been sober for a certain amount of time. But you know me, I never play by the rules," Jiyong waved his hand in the air dismissively. "And there’s no one who can resist my charms.”

 

They burst into laughter and when it subsided, Jiyong was wiping tears from his eyes. Youngbae didn’t know if they were from joy or sorrow. Maybe it was both.

 

“He says he thinks I’m beautiful,” Jiyong said, smiling a bit, despite the tears.

 

Youngbae smiled. “You look happy.”

 

“Sometimes, I worry about replacing him, y’know. But then, I think it’s what he would have wanted. He would have wanted me to be happy.”

 

“I think so, too,” Youngbae said, letting his hand rest on Jiyong’s knee.

 

“So what about you and Seunghyun? Have you seen him yet?” Jiyong changed the subject.

 

Youngbae hadn’t told anyone about the times he’d met with Seunghyun since his return. There was too much at stake. He did long for advice on what to do, though, but he kept it all inside.

 

“No,” he lied.

 

“Damn,” Jiyong cursed. “I was sure he’d come looking for you after he found out you were back in town. I always thought he still had a thing for you.”

 

“Oh, yeah?”

 

“Big time. I mean, after what he did for your father.”

 

Youngbae frowned. “What he did for my father?”

 

“You don’t know?” Youngbae shook his head in response.

 

“He took care of him. He paid for him to be put in a nursing home until he died. I think he paid for his gravestone and all. You didn’t know that?”

 

Youngbae’s breath caught. “No, I didn’t know that.”

 

Jiyong looked at Youngbae, gaze earnest and sympathetic. “Youngbae, you don’t know what I would give for a second chance with Seungri. Seunghyun is still alive. Maybe it’s not too late for you two.”  

 

Youngbae shook his head.

 

A second chance. With Seunghyun.

 

Maybe in a world where Seunghyun hadn’t become a criminal and Youngbae hadn’t become a police officer. Maybe if the older man had been honest with him sooner. Maybe a year ago. But now, even though there was nothing that would have made Youngbae happier, they stood on different sides.

  
They didn’t stand a chance.

 

* * *

 

The grave was impeccable, the grass was freshly-cut and when Youngbae kneeled by granite headstone,his eyes began to water and he knew that Seunghyun still loved him.

 

He knew he had never stopped.

 

Youngbae wept.

 

He wept for his father, a man he had never been able to save.

 

He wept for Jiyong’s heartbreak and Seungri’s short life.

 

He wept for Seunghyun, whose harsh life had made him believe that the only way to show his love was to push it away.

 

Seunghyun had taken care of a man he hated because he loved his son. He had dedicated himself to years of loneliness and hurt, just to make sure Youngbae was safe. He had, in his own way, been trying to protect Youngbae.

 

Youngbae had wasted so much time, caught up in his rage and sadness. He hadn’t asked Seunghyun the right questions.

 

Hours ago, when visiting Jiyong, Youngbae hadn’t been able to picture a future with Seunghyun. But now, kneeling in front of the small monument Seunghyun had built for his love, Youngbae couldn’t imagine his life without him. Jiyong had gotten his second chance at life. Perhaps Youngbae could have a second chance at love.

 

Youngbae pressed a gentle kiss to his father's grave before standing up and wiping his own tears away. For the first time, in a long time, he knew exactly where to go.

 


	7. Chapter 7

Anyone who knew Choi Seunghyun knew that he was an incurable momma’s boy.

 

Even as an adult, even though he had to keep most of the details of his life hidden from her, Seunghyun never missed a Sunday night dinner at his mother’s house. He wouldn’t dare.

 

Every Sunday, Seunghyun traded in his signature sleek suit for a collared shirt and one of the ridiculously-colored sweaters she had knitted for him, bought a bouquet of tulips, which were her favorite kind of flower, and made his way to her house. This night, the sound of a conversation from inside the house confused Seunghyun as he stood on the front porch, waiting for her to answer the door.

 

“Seunghyun,” she said when she opened the door, eyes bright and wide smile on her wrinkled face. She took the bouquet from his hands with the same look of surprise she always had.

 

He smiled back, hoping she wasn’t talking to herself again. He hated when she talked to herself.

 

“Come in,” she said. “I’ve got a surprise for you.”

 

Seunghyun followed her down the hallway that led to the kitchen - the one he’d spent his childhood running down and his teenage years sneaking through - and in all the time he’d been alive, nothing prepared him for the way his chest clenched painfully at the sight of a certain detective, fussing over steaming pots on the stove.

 

“Youngbae?”

 

Youngbae looked up at him and smiled a real, honest-to-God nervous little smile that Seunghyun hadn’t seen in so many years, except for in his dreams.

 

“Hi, Seunghyun,” he responded, polite and sweet. Like the torture of the past few months hadn’t happened.

 

“Hello, Youngbae,” Seunghyun said, a weight lifting off of his heavy heart. Breathing felt easier now.

 

They ate dinner and it was just like the old days. Seunghyun’s mother kept asking Youngbae about his time abroad and why he had never sent any letters or come to visit. She had missed him so much, she repeated over and over again, until at one point in their relatively light conversation, the truth of the statement made her eyes tear up.

 

“I’m so sorry, Mrs. Choi,” Youngbae said, getting up from the table to wrap the woman fighting back sobs in a tight embrace.

 

The old woman returned the embrace. “I’ve missed you, my son, I’ve missed you.”

 

She repeated it like a prayer again, a little whisper that was meant only for Youngbae, but Seunghyun heard it, too. And he understood. His mother’s heart had always beat for her two sons.

 

She excused herself from their dinner citing exhaustion at her old age, but Seunghyun knew her better than that. He knew that she needed some space, some time alone, in the face of this emotional rollercoaster of a night.

 

Her abrupt exit left Seunghyun and Youngbae alone and like shy teenagers once again, they ate the rest of the meal in silence and avoided each other’s gazes.

 

Seunghyun let Youngbae clear the table and start on the dishes while he sat in the dinner table still, seemingly unable to move, wondering whether he should try to talk to him. He didn’t want to ruin this little moment of peace.

 

When he finally found the courage, Seunghyun stood up and walked to the kitchen doorway. His steps were slow and a tingling nervousness thrummed in his veins.

 

He watched Youngbae silently for a moment, enjoying his presence. Youngbae was clad in a soft, knit sweater and basic denims instead of the usual leather jacket or police uniform Seunghyun had grown accustomed to seeing him in. The smaller man looked oddly domestic as he cleaned the kitchen with a quiet efficiency and determination. Seunghyun wondered if this was the life they could have had. A life of Sunday night dinners and soft fabrics. A life of tulips and washing dishes and little moments of quiet and peace.

 

Seunghyun smiled ruefully. He would have loved that.

 

“I hadn’t seen you in five months,” Youngbae began over the sound of running water. “I didn’t know if it was because you didn’t have new information or if...if something had - if you were okay.”

 

“Is that why you came?” Seunghyun asked, moving closer to Youngbae to help him dry the dishes.

 

“Yes,” Youngbae said before shaking his head. “Well, yes and no. I wanted to see your mother. And I wanted to see you, too.”

 

“I don’t have any new leads. I’m sorry.”

 

Youngbae turned off the faucet and started drying dishes, too. Much more thoroughly than Seunghyun. He was always more thorough.

 

“Why did you take care of my father?”

 

Seunghyun narrowed his eyes. “How did you find out about that?”

 

“Jiyong told me.”

 

Seunghyun sighed. Jiyong always had been a nosy bastard. “I don’t know. It seemed like the right thing to do. I knew you wouldn’t have wanted him to suffer, even though he was the absolute scum of the Earth until his last day on it.”

 

Youngbae sucked in a sharp breath. “You were there?”

 

“Yeah," Seunghyun murmured. "I knew you didn’t want him to die alone.”

 

“Thank you,” Youngbae said and Seunghyun didn’t know what to make of the rawness in his voice.

 

He didn’t know what to make of the way Youngbae plucked the plate out of Seunghyun’s hand as he turned to face him, eyes boring into the taller man’s face. “You should have told me.”

 

“About your dad?”

 

“About everything, Seunghyun. About the drugs and Seungri and my dad - just everything.”

 

“I know,” Seunghyun whispered, ashamed. “I was afraid, though. That you’d come back. That you’d just be closer to the danger.”

 

“You’re damn right I would have come back,” Youngbae said. “But you’re wrong about one thing. You didn’t have to protect me.”

 

“Of course I did,” Seunghyun protested. “I always had to -  _still have to_ \- take care of you. It’s just what I have to -”

 

“Open your eyes, Seunghyun,” Youngbae said, voice a bit lower, hands suddenly finding purchase on the tall man’s hips. “I’m a big boy. I can take care of myself. And sometimes, I can even take care of you.”

 

And then, Youngbae was tilting his chin upwards and balancing on the balls of his feet to land a kiss on Seunghyun’s lips. Seunghyun hadn’t been kissed like that in ages - all slow and deep, just the right amount of pressure on half-parted lips.

 

“Detective?”

 

Youngbae hushed Seunghyun with the tip of his fingers and when Seunghyun dared to let his eyes meet Youngbae’s, he was shocked and amazed to find them smiling.

 

“Come with me,” Youngbae said, small hand wrapped in Seunghyun’s, leading him up the darkened corridor and staircase to their old bedroom. The room was still the same and Youngbae didn’t waste any time finding Seunghyun’s mouth again after closing the door.

 

It was sublime. As if they were stepping into a memory.

 

Soft, tender kisses and hands that caressed instead of bruised. Hushed confessions - whispers of _I missed you_ pressed into each other’s skin and hair until it didn’t matter who was saying the words because they both knew it was true.

 

Seunghyun had missed Youngbae.

 

He had missed the way his small, muscular body settled beneath his taller frame, so submissive and gentle, seamlessly giving Seunghyun control. He was always so good at letting Seunghyun take the lead, even though when they were younger, the older boy never knew what to do with it.

 

Now, as a man, Seunghyun knew to let his hands roam all over Youngbae’s body, massaging him lightly and savoring the sweet sighs of pleasure that escaped his lips. He knew to come between the detective’s parted legs and roll his hips just so, just enough to make them both moan at the friction. He knew to kiss Youngbae’s neck, find a pulsepoint and suck on it a bit, because he remembered that the boy loved that. The man did, too.

 

Youngbae had missed Seunghyun, too. Seunghyun could tell. It was evident in the way his lips just couldn’t stop kissing. Even when the taller man’s mouth was preoccupied with Youngbae’s neck, the detective’s lips pressed against the top of Seunghyun’s head. He had always loved kissing so unabashedly and it made Seunghyun glad to know that the sweetness hadn’t left Youngbae. He’d only had it hidden for a while, behind his walls.

 

Maybe Seunghyun still had a chance. Maybe he could spend the rest of his life taking down Youngbae’s defenses, brick by brick.

 

Seunghyun didn’t want to get caught up in hopes and wishes, knowing that life had a tendency to disappoint him, so he tried instead to pour all of his energy, all of his focus, all of his emotion into _this_ encounter.

 

This most perfect night.

 

Just in case it wouldn’t happen again.

 

Armed with a condom and a small bottle of lube this time, Youngbae grinned at Seunghyun so timidly that the older man had a hard time believing that they were six years older now. His heart hammered in his chest rapidly, just like the first time they had done this.

 

Seunghyun wanted to cry. He didn’t. But he wanted to.

 

Because Youngbae still made the same breathy moans when his fingers were buried inside and he still arched his back and trembled in Seunghyun’s hands and it was all just _so_ perfect.

 

Seunghyun rolled the condom on and settled himself between Youngbae’s legs but the detective shook his head and shifted their positions so that Seunghyun's back was pressed flat on the tiny twin bed they used to share. Youngbae straddled him, teasing him with rolls of his hips and the most delicious kisses until suddenly, he lowered himself onto Seunghyun’s aching cock in one fluid motion.

 

And oh -

 

 _Oh._ That was different. It felt different to have Youngbae riding him, hands braced on the bed underneath them, eyes staring straight into his eyes - no fear, no guard. This was how it should have been between them; Youngbae trusting him enough to let him inside his body, even though he’d been so wronged by so many other men in his life and Seunghyun letting him set the pace, giving up some of the control and responsibility that he placed on himself.

 

Sharing the burden.

 

This was the kind of love they could have had. A partnership. Youngbae hadn’t ever needed a savior, he’d only wanted an equal.

 

Seunghyun felt a familiar pleasure pooling at his stomach and he knew he was close to the edge. It would be over soon.

 

Youngbae’s eyes shut tight and he bit his lip hard, coming suddenly in long white stripes that stained Seunghyun’s sweater. Seunghyun realized belatedly that they hadn’t really finished taking off their clothes and he was close to making a joke about it when a white-hot wave of bliss rippled through him and all he could do was hold on to Youngbae’s hips for dear life and let out an embarrassing little whimper.

 

When Youngbae collapsed and draped himself over Seunghyun’s exhausted body, Seunghyun wrapped his arms around his shivering frame.

 

“That was…” he began.

 

“Amazing,” Youngbae finished for him, voice sounding absolutely wrecked.

 

Twenty minutes later, Youngbae was wrapped up in his arms and snoring lightly, sound asleep. Seunghyun wanted to shake him awake and ask him what this meant for them, if it was his very wonderful way of saying that Seunghyun was forgiven.

 

But he didn’t. He decided to simply fall asleep next to him, letting the sound of police sirens and midnight lull him to sleep.

 

The last thought he had before he drifted off completely was that he had missed his friend so very much.

  
  
  



	8. Chapter 8

Letting Seunghyun into his life again was...strange. To say the least.

 

After all, Seunghyun was still the strangest person Youngbae had ever met. He did incredibly odd things like refuse to completely remove his signature button-down shirt in front of Youngbae, even during sex.

 

Youngbae really shouldn’t have been having sex with Seunghyun in the first place. It was a ridiculously bad idea, considering Seunghyun was still knee deep in the criminal underworld and Youngbae was still trying to prove himself as a capable detective in his precinct.

 

It was a _monumentally_ horrible idea, actually, but Youngbae couldn’t help it. He worried and fretted over his career and whether he was doing the right thing but the moment Seunghyun knocked on his door, all those doubts flew out of his head.

 

In the beginning, Youngbae tried to convince himself that it was all for Seungri.

 

On his days off, Youngbae and Seunghyun would pour through Seungri’s case file in search for hidden clues. When the research was done, Seunghyun would smirk and look at Youngbae from the corner of his eye and the detective couldn’t help the way his heart tattooed a frantic rhythm against his ribcage, he couldn’t help the way his hands instinctively reached out to touch.

 

Youngbae couldn’t control his heart around Seunghyun. So he stopped trying to.

 

On this day, the detective sat in the same diner where he always met Seunghyun, waiting for the man himself to arrive. When Seunghyun strolled into the diner, hands running through his thick hair and intense eyes searching just for him, Youngbae bit his lip nervously.

 

Seunghyun still made him feel so goddamn giddy.

 

“You drink too much coffee,” Seunghyun said, gesturing at the cup in front of Youngbae as he took the seat across the booth from him. “It’s not good for your health.”

 

Youngbae scoffed. “Since when are you concerned about health?”

 

Seunghyun smirked. “I don’t know, Detective. It might be why you’re still the same height you were in high school.”

 

Youngbae was an adult and a detective, but he was not above kicking Seunghyun’s shin under the table. Hard.

 

“That really hurt,” Seunghyun laughed as he said it.

 

“I just wanted to show you that I’m at the peak of physical health,” Youngbae said, a teasing smile appearing on his face.

 

Seunghyun grinned in return. “Point taken. Listen, I have a surprise for you. A new witness to interview. So finish up your coffee and let’s go.”

 

When they left the diner, it was dusk. Orange and pink hues brushed across the darkening sky and there was surreal tint to everything, like the world was gradually slowing down.

 

Youngbae should have been thinking about the kind of questions he was going to ask but he kept thinking about how he wanted to reach out and grab Seunghyun’s hand. When they had been younger, Youngbae had feared exposing their relationship but now he wanted the whole damn world to know.

 

That was the strangest thing of all.

 

“Detective,” Seunghyun rumbled. “You keep looking at me like that and people are going to start to talk.”

 

Youngbae blushed - still hadn’t kicked that nasty habit - and looked away. “Sorry.”

 

“Don’t be. Just save it for later, okay?”

 

Youngbae grinned, loving the fact that there was now a later between them.

 

Youngbae let himself get caught up in the lovely, autumn evening and in the comfort of Seunghyun’s tall frame walking alongside him. Imagine his surprise when about twenty minutes later, Seunghyun had the supposed witness in a chokehold after bursting through the man’s front door.

 

“What the hell are you doing?” Youngbae shouted.

 

“He wasn’t going to open the door. This is faster,” Seunghyun responded rather calmly for someone who was holding a thrashing, terrified man in his arms.

 

“Sir, we just want to ask you some questions,” Youngbae tried to assuage the witness.

 

“Let me go!" the man screamed. "Who the hell are you people?”

 

Youngbae began, “my name is -”

 

“Listen, you little son of a bitch, you don’t need to worry about his name or mine," Seunghyun growled. "All you need to know is that if you don’t tell us the absolute truth, I will literally tear your balls off and feed them to you. Are we clear?”

 

Youngbae could only stare, mouth agape. Seunghyun smirked wolfishly.

 

“Now, I’m going to let you go, and I want you to know I’ve got a loaded Colt .44 in my suit pocket and I won’t hesitate in blowing your brains out if you even _look_ like you’re thinking of calling for help.”

 

The man nodded frantically. Seunghyun let him go. He nodded at Youngbae to begin his questions. Youngbae blinked a few times, confused and, embarrassingly enough, kind of aroused by Seunghyun’s harsh tactics.

 

Youngbae cleared his throat. “Do you remember the night of July 14th, 20 -”

 

“Wait a minute, are you gonna ask me about what happened to those boys?”

 

“So you remember?”

 

The man groaned, exasperated and afraid. He tugged on his clothes, trying to set himself right again. “I saw the whole thing. Even went down to the precinct to give a report. But no one cared. They didn’t want to hear what I saw.”

 

“What did you see?” Seunghyun asked, voice low and threatening.

 

“They were attacked by a group. There was five - maybe six of them. It was so horrible, I mean, the way those poor boys kept calling out for help…”

 

Youngbae noticed a slight tremble in the man’s hands. As if the events of that night had truly mortified him.

 

“There was one of them, though - one of the guys in the gang. He just kept kicking and kicking and punching, even after everyone else had stopped. The other guys had to hold him back at one point, I mean he looked like he’d just snapped.”

 

The man then met Youngbae’s gaze. “I’ve never seen so much hatred before. That’s why I didn’t go out to help. I called the cops but I was too scared to do anything about it. And when I heard that boy died, well, I just -”

 

The man took a deep breath. “I’m just so sorry I didn’t help.”

 

Youngbae felt a sympathy for the man. It was clear that the attack had had quite an effect on him.

 

“What did the one guy look like? The one you said kept beating them.” Seunghyun spoke before Youngbae had a chance to try and comfort the witness.

 

The man snorted humorlessly. “I can do you one better. I can tell you where he works.”

 

“He still lives here?” Youngbae asked.

 

“I see him almost everyday. He works at that restaurant on the wharf. The one that’s right by the river.”

 

Seunghyun eyes met Youngbae’s. They were both thinking the same thing. The River Strangler had murdered another unfortunate young man just last week and the body had been found, as usual, floating among the trash that littered the river. Youngbae couldn't believe he hadn't thought of questioning people who worked on the wharf before. It made perfect sense that someone who had daily access to the area might have at least seen something suspicious.

 

Youngbae hadn't believed Seunghyun's theory about one of Seungri's attackers and the River Strangler being one in the same, but now, he had to admit that all the evidence was suggesting that his theory was correct.

 

Youngbae hoped it was true. He wanted this all to be over.

 

* * *

 

 

Later that night, Youngbae was draped across Seunghyun’s broad chest, heartbeat still in the process of slowing down in the afterglow of sex.

 

Seunghyun’s large hands stroked his back delicately, and in quiet little moments like these, Youngbae always let himself imagine what a future with the tall criminal would actually look like. He mused about shared apartments and dinners with Mrs. Choi. A nice, peaceful life away from the tumult of the their hometown. He tried to keep his thoughts from drifting to something more permanent. Things with Seunghyun were still so complicated.

 

“Bae,” Seunghyun began, voice so low and husky that it startled Youngbae. “I don’t want you to come with me to that restaurant.”

 

Youngbae snorted. “Tough luck, Seunghyun.”

 

“I mean it,” Seunghyun said, turning his face to look into Youngbae’s eyes. “I don’t want anything to happen to you if things go down.”

 

Youngbae just rolled his eyes. “I’m a police officer, I do things like this all the time as part of my job. Besides, if I let you go alone, I know the guy’s just going to end up dead from 'mysterious circumstances'. I want justice, Seunghyun. Jiyong and Seungri’s father deserve to go to the trial and watch the miserable bastard be sentenced to life in prison.”

 

Seunghyun pulled Youngbae even closer, sighing, as if he was giving up. “I’ve never killed anyone before, not by my own hands, at least.”

 

Youngbae frowned. He had a feeling he wasn’t going to like what Seunghyun said next.

 

“I’m the reason Seungri died, though. I’m the one who invited him and Jiyong over that day. I’m the reason they were walking around that area so late at night.”

 

“Seunghyun,” Youngbae sighed. Suddenly, Seunghyun’s obsession with the case made sense.

 

“Don’t pity me, Bae. I don’t deserve it. I might as well have killed him myself.”

 

“It wasn’t your fault,” Youngbae rose off Seunghyun’s chest to peck small kisses on his face. “You couldn’t have known.”

 

“I was just so lonely and I missed you so much. They didn’t even want to come over but I insisted and -”

 

Youngbae kissed and kissed, until tears welled up in Seunghyun’s eyes and he cursed.

 

“Promise me you’ll arrest me when this is all over.”

 

Youngbae’s heart clenched as Seunghyun continued talking. “I’m responsible for Seungri’s death and Jiyong’s addiction and I’m sure there’s plenty of other people I’ve hurt. I’ve pumped more drugs into this town than anyone that came before me and I don’t deserve your sympathy or your time. I’m a bad person, Bae - a criminal. And you’re a police officer, you’re a good man. And this…”

 

Seunghyun landed the softest kiss on Youngbae’s lips as if easing the way for the final blow. “This can’t last forever.”

 

Eighteen-year old Youngbae would have crumbled at Seunghyun’s words. But Youngbae was no longer a boy, no matter how much he tried to reclaim his past innocence. He was a man - a man that had been through Hell and dragged himself out of it. A man that had beaten his own addiction to alcohol and meaningless sex with nothing but his own willpower.

 

A man who could handle someone like Seunghyun.

 

Youngbae sat up in the bed and straddled Seunghyun, face set in an intense scowl and hands holding down the taller man’s wrists. He stared him down for a few moments, until he could feel Seunghyun shift uncomfortably beneath him.

 

That’s when Youngbae let go of one of his wrists. To slap him.

 

The harsh rung out in the silence of the apartment and Seunghyun’s eyes were wide, shocked and confused.

 

“Are you done feeling sorry for yourself?”

 

Seunghyun didn’t respond. Only stared at Youngbae like he was seeing him for the first time.

 

“We both know that I’m not going to arrest you. I’m going to do worse. I’m going to give you a second chance. To make things right again, to be the man I _know_ you can be. And I’m going to be there. Every time you inevitably fuck up, I’m going to be there to nag you and kick you in the ass until you do the right thing. Don’t give me any of this 'woe is me' bullshit, Seunghyun. You can do better and you will.”

 

Seunghyun stared at Youngbae, eyes bright with unshed tears. His lips slowly lifted into a prideful smile. “You’re still one tough son a bitch, you know that?”

 

Youngbae smiled back. “I know.”

 

Seunghyun worried at his bottom lip thoughtfully for a moment. “I love you. I never stopped.”

 

“I know that, too. I read all your letters.”

 

Seunghyun grabbed onto Youngbae’s shoulder to pull the younger man down. They laid chest to chest, Seunghyun’s arms wrapped around Youngbae.

 

“Would you believe me if I made you a promise?” Seunghyun asked, lips brushing against the top of Youngbae’s head.

 

“Depends on what it is,” Youngbae said.

 

“I know I'm not the man who deserves you right now. But I promise that someday, I will be. I’m going to spend the rest of my life proving myself to you.”

 

Youngbae closed his eyes as butterflies kicked up in his stomach.

 

“Okay,” he replied, trying to hide how he felt like he was going to float out of his body.

 

Seunghyun’s promise and hearing him say he loved him had a profound effect on Youngbae, but he still couldn’t bring himself to say it back. He felt it. He felt it so much sometimes he thought he might be going crazy with it. But Seunghyun was still the boy that had once shattered his heart so completely and sent him into despair. Youngbae wasn’t quite ready to expose his heart like that again, not yet.

 

Seunghyun didn’t seem to mind. He seemed content just to have the chance to hold Youngbae in his arms.

 

For now - for both of them - it was enough.

  
  


 

 


	9. Chapter 9

 

When the bullet entered his shoulder, Seunghyun’s vision exploded into white and he knew, for certain, that it was all over.

 

‘Damn,’ he heard his own voice croaking but he couldn’t tell if the words were said aloud or in his mind. ‘Should have fucked Bae one last time...’

 

The stinging slap he received stopped the ringing in his ears and distracted him from the incredible amount of pain shooting down his arm. It also let him know that he’d said the words out loud. He smirked and coughed out the blood pooling in his mouth, trying to focus his eyes.

 

Seunghyun knew he was being held in Youngbae’s strong arms and that he was going to die in them. He could think of no better place to spend his final moments and no better man to have laid his life down for but Youngbae kept whimpering at him like he was the one that had been shot.

 

“You can’t do this, please, Seunghyun. Not now, not now…”

 

Seunghyun nodded and tried not to close his eyes, tried not to give up just yet, even though the pain was overwhelming and he was so goddamn tired.

 

He didn’t want to abandon Youngbae. Not again.

 

Not if he could help it.  

 

* * *

 

Twenty-four hours earlier, Seunghyun and Youngbae had argued.

 

“I don’t care if you don’t want me to go, Bae, I’m going.”

 

Youngbae was in his kitchen, standing at the stove making some sort of egg and cheese breakfast concoction and Seunghyun tried not to quip about how ridiculous he looked a frilly apron with his mohawk in a disarray but he didn’t want to risk getting scalding eggs thrown at his face. Youngbae really was a feisty one now.

 

“Seunghyun, how the hell am I going to explain to my partner why a suspected drug dealer is accompanying us to question a possible suspect?”

 

Youngbae turned around and faced Seunghyun, who was sitting calming at the kitchen table, waiting for his breakfast. The spatula in Youngbae’s hand didn’t make him any less intimidating in Seunghyun’s eyes. Or any less attractive.

 

Seunghyun didn’t answer Youngbae, though. He merely raised an eyebrow at him and watched Youngbae roll his eyes in response.

 

The detective turned to continue making omelets and Seunghyun’s heart clenched painfully in his chest as a realization struck him. This small domestic peace would be over soon. Undoubtedly, the arrest of the River Strangler would change everything - maybe not for the better. The thought almost knocked the breath out of Seunghyun.

 

“We’re just going to talk to him. Stop acting like I don’t know what I’m doing,” Youngbae continued, unaware of the deep melancholy that suddenly gripped Seunghyun’s heart.

 

Seunghyun stood up from the table, the clarity of how little time he had actually spent enjoying Youngbae made him feel overwhelmed and needy. He crowded the detective, making his back push against the kitchen counter. He felt a desperation rising in his throat and he needed to touch Youngbae, to make sure that at least this moment - this morning - would not go to waste.

 

“Why are you so damn insistent on doing this your way?” Seunghyun murmured, pushing depressing thoughts out of his mind and trying to focus on their conversation. It was difficult though; the shiver he could feel travel up Youngbae’s spine when he placed his hand on the small of the detective’s back was incredibly distracting.

 

“Because Jiyong and Seungri’s father and all the families of the other victims deserve to see that fucker in jail. They deserve to go to the trial and know for sure that the man behind bars is the man that took their loved ones from them.”

 

“We can tell Jiyong and Seungri’s father the truth," Seunghyun reasoned. "Aren’t you worried that he’ll go to trial but there won’t be enough evidence?”

 

Youngbae sighed and let his hand rest on Seunghyun’s shoulder. “You don’t understand.”

 

Seunghyun turned his head, lips brushing against Youngbae’s fingers. “Then tell me.”

 

“It’s not just for Seungri. It’s for Jiyong, too. You don’t know what it’s like.”

 

Seunghyun pulled his head back to look into Youngbae’s eyes. “What what’s like?”

 

Youngbae took in a deep, shaky breath before speaking. “To lose someone that meant the world and to not even know why. To blame yourself.”

 

“Youngbae…”

 

“I know why you did it, Seunghyun, and I swear I’m not still angry with you. But I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t relate to Jiyong. I didn’t get to the point he did, but I did some pretty fucked up things while I was away. Things that if you knew about -”

 

“Don’t,” Seunghyun’s arms tightened around the smaller man’s waist. “Don’t even think that. There is absolutely nothing you could ever do to make me stop loving you. I was the one that ruined everything.”

 

He leaned down to kiss Youngbae and savored the way the detective’s eyes fluttered closed, delicately.

 

“Just let me have this,” Youngbae whispered when Seunghyun broke their kiss. “Let me put the handcuffs around him and take him to jail. Let me do this the right way.”

 

Seunghyun hummed his reluctant agreement and leaned down to nip at Youngbae’s throat.

 

They didn’t quite finish their breakfast that morning.

 

* * *

 

 

Seunghyun was a stubborn fool. He knew that. Hell, everyone knew that.

 

It was his own stubbornness that had cut Youngbae out of his life for six long years and even now, it was that same flaw that was making him itch to go see the suspect on his own, before Detective Dong had even finished his shift and explained to his partner who they were going to question that night.

 

Seunghyun strolled down to the wharf, jittery from not enough sleep and too much time thinking about Youngbae’s life being in danger.

 

It really shouldn’t have been a surprise - to anyone - that Seunghyun decided to ignore Youngbae. He might have been a decorated police officer but Seunghyun still felt it was his duty to protect him. Besides, the plan was simply to have himself a nice lunch. If it _happened_ to be at the restaurant the suspect worked in, well that couldn’t be helped.

 

Seunghyun sat in the small wooden table after being led by the hostess.

 

“Your server will be right with you,” she said and Seunghyun’s heart sped up.

 

It was him. The moment the man stepped out of the kitchen and walked towards Seunghyun’s table, their eyes met and Seunghyun knew without a shadow of a doubt that it was the same man who had watched Jiyong and Seungri with thinly-veiled disgust years ago and the same man who had crushed the life out of his friend and countless other innocent boys.

 

He was the killer.

 

Seunghyun knew it, because deadly recognizes deadly and Seunghyun may not have been a murderer but he was not a man you ever wanted to cross paths with.  

 

“Hello, my name is Hongbin and I’ll be your server this afternoon. Can I start you off with something to drink?”

 

His voice was eerily high-pitched and his eyes - which had widened the second he had caught Seunghyun’s gaze - were now blank.

 

“Just your lunch special,” Seunghyun said, eyes never leaving the killer’s face.

 

“Anything else?”

 

 _Just your head on a platter_ , Seunghyun thought bitterly.

 

“No,” Seunghyun said. “Nothing else.”

 

When the man - Hongbin, supposedly left to retrieve Seunghyun’s lunch, Seunghyun threw some bills haphazardly on the table and made his way out of the restaurant quickly. He called Youngbae as soon as he was in the bright fall sunshine, rapidly walking away.

 

“How many times have I told you not to call me at -”

 

“It’s him,” Seunghyun interrupted.

 

“What?”

 

“It’s him, Bae. I went to the restaurant and I saw him. Just trust me, alright? It’s him.”

 

Youngbae’s exasperated sigh was loud, even through their shaky phone connection. “What the hell, Seunghyun? I told you not to do anything without me.”

 

“I’m sorry, I just had to see for myself.”

 

“Fine, just promise me that you’ll wait. Another case came up and I won’t be able to arrest him until tomorrow night at the earliest. Please, promise me that you’re not going to do anything else.”

 

Seunghyun took a deep breath, eyeing the restaurant from a safe distance. “Okay. I promise.”

 

“Good.”

 

“I love you,” Seunghyun said abruptly, hoping that Youngbae was ready to say it back.

 

“I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” Youngbae said instead, before hanging up suddenly. Seunghyun felt his heart sink.

 

Even with Youngbae finally back in his life and in his arms, Seunghyun still felt like he was on shaky ground. There was a great distance between them still, symbolized by they Youngbae just refused to say that he loved him back.

 

Sometimes, after hours of having Youngbae in his bed, writhing and moaning and begging for more, Seunghyun would whisper it his ear, voice cracking with the sheer honesty behind the words. Youngbae’s eyes would light up and his lips would fall open, and Seunghyun would believe that this was the moment - every time - but the detective would only bring their foreheads together and kiss Seunghyun’s lips gently.

 

Other times, Youngbae would be doing something innocuous, like reading the morning paper, and Seunghyun’s heart would skip a beat at the way the morning sunlight streaming into the kitchen made Youngbae’s skin a lovely golden hue and he just had to tell him. There were times where Youngbae was doing something mildly insulting, like laughing at Seunghyun for refusing to completely remove his shirt during sex (there was a very good reason for that), and the taller man would get caught up in the rhythm of Youngbae’s hips, the sound of his hearty laughter and the way his smile made him look like a little child. The words would slip out of his mouth almost involuntarily in those moments, and Youngbae would quiet down, wrap his arms around him and kiss the side of his face so softly, like the breeze from the sea.

 

Perhaps it was Youngbae’s new quiet way of saying I love you. It should probably be enough, but Seunghyun had always been greedy, especially with Youngbae. He’d always wanted to be the only star in Youngbae’s sky and to hear him confess his love over and over again, so neither of them would ever forget.

 

Maybe Seunghyun didn’t deserve Youngbae’s love. Maybe he was just fooling himself.

 

If he had been in Youngbae’s position, he’d had told the person who broke his heart and ruined his life to go fuck himself. Maybe refusing to say the words was Youngbae’s way of punishing him.

 

Seunghyun sighed, reaching into his pocket to pull out a pair of sunglasses. He slipped them onto his face carefully.

 

There was no other choice but to wait and see.

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

Youngbae held Seunghyun in his arms, the blood and life seeping out of his broad body as he coughed and sputtered.

 

The detective tried to hold back his tears, but his vision blurred with the effort.

 

It had all happened so fast.

 

Seunghyun had kept his promise, for the most part. He didn’t approach the suspect again, but he did keep a stake out at the restaurant while Youngbae finished up the case that had fallen into his lap. At around four in the morning, Youngbae had received a panicked phone call from Seunghyun, saying something about how Hongbin was carrying a body into the restaurant, how he had to act fast in case the boy was still alive and Youngbae had rushed out of the police station, leaving Detective Lee Chaerin confused and worried.

 

When he arrived at the restaurant, all was silent - too silent. It was the whimper of the drugged boy that alerted Youngbae to turn around, and as he reached to pull out his weapon, he spotted the glint of a revolver pointed right at him.

 

He only had time to undo the safety of his gun before the deafening sound of a shot rung out in the empty restaurant. Seunghyun’s body collided into his, knocking them both over and under a table.

 

Blood.

 

There was dark blood everywhere.

 

But it wasn’t Youngbae’s. It was Seunghyun's. Seunghyun had jumped in front of him just in time to take a bullet in the shoulder.

 

Rage and adrenaline gripped Youngbae as he dragged himself from under Seunghyun’s heavy frame. He pointed the gun at the vaguely familiar face of Hongbin as the suspect stood, dazedly looking around for the body of his soon-to-be victim and no doubt certain that he was no longer in danger.

 

Youngbae didn’t hesitate. He fired three fatal shots into the suspect, taking a sick sense of pleasure at the way the man’s body crumpled to the ground.

 

And then, he trained his eyes on Seunghyun.

 

He gathered him into his arms when he noticed he was still breathing.

 

“Should have fucked Bae one last time,” Seunghyun mumbled, blood now pooling in his mouth.

 

Youngbae slapped him harshly, trying to bring Seunghyun out of his haze. When Seunghyun laughed, Youngbae was sure his own heart would burst in his chest.

 

He was still alive.

 

“You can’t do this, please, Seunghyun. Not now, not now.” Youngbae didn’t even know where the words where coming from. He was panicking - completely losing all control. He was reduced to begging Seunghyun, as if he could simply stop himself from bleeding out.

 

But Seunghyun nodded and looked into Youngbae’s eyes with a determination uncharacteristic of someone who was losing so much blood so quickly. If Seunghyun was willing to try then Youngbae had to push his feelings aside and be as strong as his Seunghyun.

 

Youngbae dialed Chaerin first, quickly barking out details of his location and the situation. He could tell she was disappointed in him for keeping something like this from her, but she promised to call the first responders and be there in a few minutes.

 

Then he tugged at a tablecloth and made a pillow under Seunghyun’s head. He tore of a large piece of it to wrap Seunghyun’s wound.

 

When Youngbae reached up to pull of Seunghyun’s shirt, the tall man, whose forehead was now soaked with sweat, shook his head.

 

“Seunghyun, you’re dying, this is not the time to be shy about your body,” Youngbae scolded as he roughly pulled Seunghyun into a sitting position and pulled off his shirt.

 

More blood spilled out of Seunghyun’s wound, but something else caught Youngbae’s eye as he cleaned off the excess blood. Black numbers tattooed onto Seunghyun’s skin made Youngbae’s heartbeat speed up.

 

_V.XIX._

 

May 19.

          

“Seunghyun, you didn’t even get my birthday right,” Youngbae laughed as a fresh wave of tears stung at his eyes. “You’re so hopeless. But it’s okay, I don’t care. I forgive you.”

 

Youngbae wrapped the wound carefully and pulled Seunghyun to lie on his back as he cradled his face in his his lap. The detective brought his own face as close to Seunghyun's as possible.

 

“It's okay, you're going to be okay,” Youngbae soothed, his voice soft and tender as he tried to convince himself more than Seunghyun. “Everything's going to be fine and we're going to get out of this place. We're going to start over somewhere far, far away from here.”

 

“That sounds nice,” Seunghyun croaked.

 

“You can finish your GED and go to college. And I can be a cop anywhere. You'll see, it'll be perfect.”

 

“I don't want to go to college,” Seunghyun smirked. “I want to own a coffeeshop. Sell that poison you love so much.”

 

“Fuck you,” Youngbae said, smiling through his tears. “Fine, you’ll own a coffee shop and I’ll invite all my cop friends to eat there and Jiyong and Daesung will be there, too. It’s going to be perfect.”

 

Seunghyun nodded but he didn’t speak and Youngbae could tell it was getting harder and harder for him to keep his eyes open. He was losing Seunghyun.

 

He opted for trying to rile Seunghyun up, tease him back to life. “Maybe one day we’ll make enough money for you to get that stupid tattoo fixed. Get my damn birthday right.”

 

Seunghyun didn’t laugh. He didn’t stir. His eyes had fallen closed and his breath was evening out. Youngbae was about to shake him awake when the taller man’s lips opened, his next words coming out in a pained whisper.

 

“It’s not your birthday. It’s the first time we kissed.”

 

Youngbae’s heart shattered.

 

“Best day of my life,” Seunghyun finished and Youngbae was innundated with the sweetest memories of that Saturday morning and the sunlight in Seunghyun’s eyes and hair and how he had never wanted to leave that tiny bed. How he had wanted to be wrapped up in Seunghyun forever.

 

Now, forever was slipping through his fingers.

 

“Fuck, Seunghyun, why did you jump in front of me?”

 

Seunghyun smiled, though his eyes were closed. “I told you. I’m supposed to protect you.”

 

“You are so stupid,” Youngbae whined, wrapping himself around Seunghyun possessively, as if his own body could keep death away.

 

Seunghyun’s hand, slippery with dark red, cupped Youngbae’s cheek gently. “I’ve loved you since I was thirteen years old. Did I ever tell you that?”

 

“Stop talking like that,” Youngbae barked, trying to keep Seunghyun and his own heart in one piece. “You’re not going anywhere.”

 

“So much, Bae. So much. Always.”

 

“Stop it -”

 

“And I’m sorry. For not being strong enough for you then. For not being strong enough now. I’m so tired, Bae…”

 

“Don’t go, Seunghyun, please.” Youngbae pleaded. “If you go now, we’ll never escape from here and have the life we should have had. Please, don’t give up on us now.”

 

“Seungri’s probably lonely…”

 

“Please, please, please.”

 

“I’ll tell him it was you, Bae. I’ll tell him you’re the one that got our revenge," Seunghyun muttered senselessly. "I’ll tell him you finally came home. He’ll be happy to hear that.”

 

“Seunghyun, look at me,” Youngbae shouted as police and ambulance sirens sounded in the distance. Seunghyun’s eyes snapped open.

 

Youngbae was prepared to rage and scream at Seunghyun, to keep him awake, but Seunghyun’s expressive eyes told him everything he needed to know. The man had seen too much, lost even more. The man, the love of his life, was ready to die. And if Youngbae truly loved him, he would let him go.

 

So Youngbae placed a light kiss to Seunghyun’s forehead and the tip of his nose. “I never stopped loving you, either. And I never will."

 

Seunghyun’s eyes softened.

 

“I love you,” Youngbae repeated, over and over again, and Seunghyun’s smile grew wider each time.

 

“Tell me more about the life we’ll have,” Seunghyun requested, his eyes staring off at some unfathomable place.

 

And Youngbae did. He poured out every single fantasy he’d ever had about a future with Seunghyun. He spun the perfect story of adopted children and huge houses, dying of old age by each other’s side. He spoke of an impossible, picture-perfect future, as sirens grew louder and Seunghyun lay dying in his arms.

 

By the time Chaerin and the medics arrived, Seunghyun’s eyes were closed.


	11. Chapter 11

         

Youngbae stood, his hands pressed against the thick glass of the huge window that looked out at the fleet of airplanes. He’d always hated airports - never had a good experience in them - but looking out at the flights taking off and coming home, endless possibilities laid out before him, he found a sense a peace.

 

He could get onto any plane and make a new life anywhere in the world. He was finally truly free.

 

When he felt a familiar pair of arms wrap around his waist, Youngbae smiled.

 

“You look like a little kid, you know.”

 

Youngbae spun around and looked up at Seunghyun’s handsome face. “Is that supposed to be a compliment?”

 

“You’re cute and short, what do you want from me?” Seunghyun joked.

 

“I’m not cute,” Youngbae protested, but he found it hard to keep a straight face.

 

“Yeah and I never got shot in the shoulder.”

 

Youngbae shuddered, not wanting to think about how close he’d been to losing Seunghyun forever. “Speaking of which, how’s the shoulder? Want to take your meds?”

 

“No, it doesn’t hurt too much right now,” Seunghyun said, boldly burying his nose in Youngbae’s neck.

 

Youngbae reached up, threading his hand in Seunghyun’s thick head of hair, no longer even a bit ashamed of his love. If anyone at the airport had a problem with their display of affection, Youngbae had a police badge and a mean left hook, and he wasn’t afraid to use either of them.

 

The airport, though, was mostly empty and serene - bright sunshine making the place seem soothing. A perfect place for goodbyes. And reunions.

 

“So where are we going, Bae?” Seunghyun’s deep voice rumbled against Youngbae’s shoulder. “You still haven’t told me.”

 

Youngbae smiled, tickled a bit by Seunghyun’s breath. He hadn’t told Seunghyun that he hadn't purchased their tickets yet. He had no destination in mind. 

 

Seunghyun was still struggling with leaving his mother behind, despite the fact that Jiyong and Daesung - now officially an item - had moved into her home and promised to take care of her while Seunghyun and Youngbae were gone.

 

“It’s only going to be for a little while,” she had said, trying to assuage her son. “Besides, if you don’t go now, you’ll regret it.”

 

She had winked at Youngbae before whispering in Seunghyun’s ear. “Don’t let him get away again, Seunghyun.”

 

So Seunghyun had said yes to Youngbae’s dreamy scheme of spending a year travelling the world together. But Youngbae had no definite plans as of yet. And it felt good.

 

“Where do you want to go?” Youngbae asked, turning around in Seunghyun’s arms to face the window again. Seunghyun was a strong and warm presence at his back, keeping him safe and grounded. Hopefully, forever.

 

“It doesn’t matter,” Seunghyun said, pecking a quick kiss to Youngbae’s cheek before hooking his chin on the shorter man’s shoulder. “As long as we’re together. That’s all that matters to me.”

 

Youngbae’s chest expanded, like it was filling with helium and love, and he grinned. “I love you, Seunghyun.”

 

When Seunghyun had been in the hospital, deep in a coma, Youngbae had prayed to God and promised that if he gave Seunghyun back to him, he would never take him for granted again. He’d tell him he loved him every single day, for the rest of their lives.

 

“I love you, too, Bae.”

 

For a moment, Youngbae stared at their reflection, at Seunghyun’s hands clasped together as they wrapped around his waist, at Seunghyun’s dark eyes and soft lips. He saw himself, smiling softly and truly happy for the first time since he had last been in this very airport. They looked perfect together, brimming with their gentle love and with the excitement of a new adventure. One that they’d take on, for the very first time, together.

 

And it was then that Youngbae realized that all the miserable suffering they’d both gone through - all of Seunghyun’s self-imposed loneliness and Youngbae’s reckless behavior, the ways that they’d been harmed and almost killed - it had all been worth it.

 

Seungri had once spent hours teaching a hopeless teenage Youngbae how to confess his love. Youngbae liked to imagine that the bright boy was looking down at them now, shaking his head and muttering ‘finally’ under his breath.

 

Finally. He’d brought them together.

 

“Let’s go somewhere warm,” Seunghyun said. Youngbae could feel a slight shiver coming from the taller man's form.

 

“That sounds wonderful,” Youngbae responded, pulling at Seunghyun’s arms to make them wrap even tighter around him.

 

  
And it truly did. Anywhere with Seunghyun at his side, sounded like a beautiful dream.

 

 


End file.
